No. Life Is Not Fair.

This is a true story about young woman I know.  I'll call her Jane.  She has a couple of children.  One whom she gave up custody of, and a younger one I'll call Joe.  Jane and Joe were homeless.  They had friends who helped house them until they could get into a shelter.  Jane was dating a man I'll call Josh.  Josh was in a similar living situation as Jane and he suffered with mental health issues.  Jane said she was in love with Josh and wanted to have a baby with him.  Her friends tried to discourage this but to no avail.  Recently, Jane gave birth to a healthy baby girl.  I pray for their well-being.

This morning I woke up to read a Facebook update telling of a couple who just said good-bye to their 25 day old son.  He was born at 24 weeks gestation, just 3 weeks after his twin sister had died from her premature birth.  These are not the first two children they have lost.  I know how painful the repeated loss of babies/infants can be and my heart aches for this couple.

When Caleb died, Mary became very ill.  Despite her involvement in a children's grief support group, she did not know how to work through her feelings of grief and she contracted pneumonia.   The following year when my mom died, Mary started having other physical manifestations of her grief.  We took her to the doctor who told us there was nothing physically wrong with her.  He suggested we help her find an outlet for her feelings.  We encouraged her to express herself through her creativity-poetry, music, art.  This seemed to help some but now her symptoms are back in full force.  I took her aside and told her that she would be better if she would express her feelings.  Then she told me that she goes out into the backyard and thinks about the people she loves and it reminds her of things that make her sad.  Then she literally broke down in my arms.  She cried harder than I have ever seen any of my children cry.  We cried together.  This pain goes deeper than anything physical.  There is no cast or surgery to fix what is wrong.  Mary will have to allow herself to experience the pain and fear she is fighting to hold back.  She has agreed to talk to a counselor to see if that will help, so we have a plan to help her move forward and not stay stuck in her grief.

Life is unfair.  No parent should have to bury a child.  No child should have to deal with so much grief.  I find comfort in God's promises, otherwise I would spend my days cursing the wind.  Without the hope I have in the resurrection of Christ, I would find no reason to carry on in the face of so much pain and heartache.  I do not believe that God makes bad things happen.  I know that He wants us to call on Him when they do.  He always answers.