Growing Up

I am not sure if I'm ready for this.  My children are growing up and reaching milestones that will require me to act like a grown up.  When did I sign up for this?

We have been raising our children with the idea of courtship rather than dating.  The plan is to get to know another person with the guidance of family.  No going out on dates and "playing grown-up" with nothing to rein in the raging hormones but self control, which hasn't been proven to exist yet.  This has all been fine in theory, but now we need to put our theory to the test.  This has to do with our oldest son, who is nearly 18.  At this point it is really his decision to make.  This is only the second time he has expressed an interest in a girl.  Both times he has wanted to introduce the girls to me immediately.  Each time I get butterflies.  What, exactly, is my role in this?  I am happy that he wants to include me in this, or any, part of his life.  However, I wonder if we have taught him all we could, or should, about pursuing a relationship with a young woman.

Have we impressed upon him the importance of respect?  Respect for himself and for all other people.  Have we taught him about responsibility?  He doesn't have a job yet.  He has dreams and ambitions but he has yet to channel these into a paying job.  Have we given him a sufficient understanding of his need to be able to provide for himself and someone else before asking her to invest in him?

We are not experts in these areas.  Mostly, we serve as a cautionary tale.  I can tell him about the heartbreak of giving up a child I was not prepared for.  We can offer our past lives as an example of the damage drugs and alcohol can do to a person-physically, emotionally, spiritually.  Our financial struggles point to a path of living on credit instead of living within our means.  What we are doing now, making better choices for ourselves and our children, stand as a testimony to God's healing power and forgiveness.

I guess we just have to trust that we have gotten through to him.  We must pray that God will help us to be good role models from this day forward.  We have done our best to protect him while still teaching him about the world in which we live.  We will be here to support him as he navigates his way through the world of male/female relationships.  He knows what we believe and what we want for him.  He has specific plans for his life and I hope he will continue to pursue those plans.  We cannot make his decisions for him but we will listen to him and pray for and with him.

Tonight, our eldest son called a girl and invited her and her family to dine with us.  They have found they have common interests.  Does this mean we are headed down the road of courtship?  Only God knows.  I pray we will have our hearts and eyes open to read all the signs He will place before us.

Growing up is scary!