........Is Change

Just a couple of days ago, I wrote a blog about change and how much I love* it.  (*See: sarcasm)

Change is uncertain.  Uncertainty leads to worry.  Worry distracts us from God when we need to rely on Him the most.  Does this mean change is bad?  Change is from God.  He designed the world with the plan that all life in it would reproduce and grow.  Change.  Even the simple act of flowing water can carve a canyon out of solid rock.  Change.
There was one change that was not from God.  He did not introduce sin into this world.  All change that has come from that first sin is not from Him.  Disease and death are not from Him, but He does offer us redemption, healing, comfort and peace; oases in this desert of sin.

You see, change IS uncertain.  Uncertainty can also lead to anticipation and hope!  Hope is from God.  Hope is what keeps us from giving up.  It keeps us trying to make things better in the face of adversity.  If I burn a cake, I do not walk out of the kitchen and never cook again.  When a child makes an error in school work, he does not drop out.  When a loved one dies from cancer, we do not give up.  We learn from our mistakes.  We continue to support organizations in searching for a cure.  We hope.

Hope is the enemy of worry.

Last night, I saw my son having a seizure.  This was the first time I had ever seen something like this and it was terrifying to see it happening to my child.  I called 9-1-1 and we waited for help to arrive.  The other children all milled around, helping to clean up and checking on their brother.  Someone asked if he was going to be okay.  I said "Yes!"  Then came the question, "How do you know?"

I kneeled over Ian and kissed him and said, "Because God is taking care of him.  God won't let anything bad happen to him."

As we rode to the hospital, many thoughts raced through my mind.  Does he have epilepsy?  How is this going to change our lives?  How can I do anything if I am worried that Ian will have another seizure?  I realized that I cannot live my life in worry.  I have to give all of these fears to God.  He can give me the peace to be able to carry on.  We will all need to learn more about seizures and what we should and should not do, but we cannot put Ian in a bubble and stare at him waiting for another seizure to happen.  We must follow up with qualified physicians who can help us to understand all of this.  We will arm ourselves with knowledge, another change God has given us.  Learning is constant and, as we learn, we change.  We have already spent some time doing research on autism and seizures.  We will probably come up with many more questions than answers, at first.  These questions will afford us more opportunities to learn, to change.

As Ian regained coherence, we sang and we prayed together.  He talked to Jesus in a way that I know only Jesus would understand.  This gives me hope.  I know that Ian has a relationship with God that I cannot comprehend.  When I say that God won't let anything bad happen to Ian, it means that I feel confident that he is saved.  His eternity is assured.  Illness and even death are not the worst things that can happen to a person.  To die without having a relationship with God is.

My hope is in a Savior who has paid the price that I might spend eternity in paradise with my creator.  I made the choice to change my life from one of running away from God to one of seeking and embracing Him. 

This is change I can get behind.